The Boy Who Cried Wolf

Once upon a time, there was a hallucination named "Wolf." This hallucination lived in the southern part of Germany, but this was not where he had originally wanted to live. He had originally wanted to live in the Bahamas, but they hadn't been discovered yet, so he remained in Germany - the home of his master. His master, also known as "The Boy," lived in the southern part of Germany, and "Wolf" lived in the boy's mind. Thus, "Wolf" also lived in the southern part of Germany. It can be explained mathematically if you wish. And since we're discussing German minds, I might as well explain it mathematically. A = B, B = C, A = C. A = hallucination, B = mind of boy, C = inhabitant of southern Germany. In other words, hallucination = mind of boy, mind of boy = inhabitant of southern Germany, hallucination = inhabitant of southern Germany. But since I'm an American who is allergic to math, I'll stop explaining the story in mathematical ways.

Once upon a time, there was a hallucination named "Wolf." He frequently made appearances to "The Boy," and was often getting him into trouble. One day, "The Boy" was taking care of the sheep, not far from the village, when "Wolf" decided to pay him a visit. The Boy hadn't listened to what his psychologist had told him about taking his medication, and was in no mood for a visit from his friend "Wolf." Upon Wolf's appearance, The Boy began to hoot and holler and cry "wolf!"

When the villagers heard the noise, they all ran to see what was going on. They had heard the name "wolf" being shouted and they assumed that The Boy needed help fighting off a ferocious beast which had emerged from the woods to dine upon the sheep. When they arrived at the scene, however, there was no visible wolf. There was only The Boy standing around making noise.

"Shut up, boy," they said. "You shouldn't be crying wolf when there isn't any wolf."

Irritated, the villagers left and went back to their work.

"Some friend you are," said The Boy to the Wolf. "Running off like that when all the villagers show up. Making me look like a liar."

"Sorry," said the hallucination. "I have a fear of people."

The Wolf then walked off to go do imaginary wolf things. A little while later, The Boy was still watching the sheep when The Wolf decided to pay him another visit. This time, the boy was more open to having company. He was so excited to see his friend that he began to hoot and holler and cry out to his friend, "Wolf!"

The villagers heard the ruckus, and ran to investigate. Upon arriving at the scene, they once again saw no visible wolf. The only person they saw was the boy, and he was making noise just like before.

"Shut up, boy," they said. "You're making us exercise when we don't want to."

With various other rude comments, the villagers walked back to the village to resume whatever it is villagers do.

"Some friend you are," The Boy said to the Wolf. "Running away like that when the villagers show up. Making me look like an idiot."

"Sorry," said the hallucination, "It's that fear of people thing again. I can't help myself. Agoraphobia - I think is what it's called. If I remember what my psychologist said.”

"Who's your psychologist?" asked the Boy.

"Dr. Velarde."

"Hey cool, I have the same psychologist that you have."

Just then, a real wolf emerged from the woods and began to dine upon the sheep. The Boy was terrified and began to cry out, "Wolf! Wolf!"

The villagers heard the shouts, but were done exercising for the day, so they ignored them. The real wolf came over to The Boy and ate him up. The fake wolf was also eaten up. Funny how that works. Allow me to explain this mathematically. A = B, B =C, A = C. A = hallucination of boy, B = boy, C = dinner of real wolf. In other words, hallucination of boy = boy, boy = dinner of real wolf, hallucination of boy = dinner of real wolf. Hopefully I have cleared up any confusion.

The end.