The Moonlight

As I sit upon this hill tonight
The grass begins to soak my pants
I take it in, this still, calm sight
And slowly notice all the plants.

The trees grow tall down by the river
Absorbing moisture night and day
A breeze comes up and makes me shiver
It also makes the branches sway.

I came here to escape the town
I needed a place of solitude
It’s hard to think when you’re running around
and stuffing your face with too much food.

The worries of life are all too near
The lights of the town shine bright behind me
I can’t be alone even way out here
I notice a couple on a bench beyond me.

I look down at them from on top of the hill
I wonder what their memories recall
The river’s fast, but they are still
And I realize they’re not even thinking at all.

They don’t seem to have any worries or fears
They must have tuned out all the chaos at home
This nation of ours has seen many years
But the enemy, now at our doorstep, has come.

Two spies were caught not fifty miles from here
The folks in town are all edgy and nervous
The kids at the college have been drinking more beer
while others have gone to sign up for the service.

The life of a student is the life for me
To study away without fearing the Draft
Sometimes I wonder what good’s a degree
if tomorrow we’ll only be wiped off the map.

We should have seen it coming
We should have expected it
Idleness – so becoming!
But now we’re regretting it.

Behind me, the lights of the town go out
I’ll be walking back home in the darkness tonight
The enemy won’t see us if there’s no light about
but I can’t find my way when there’s not any light.

I decide that I’ll wait ‘till the moon comes out
I’ll be able to see with the full moon so bright
The couple I noticed are now making out
I try to ignore their kiss under the starlight.

It’s hard to find a place where I can just be alone
Out here on the grass with the smell of the dirt
I lie down on my back and let out a short groan
The dew from the grass just soaked right through my shirt.

Things don’t always work out just the way we expect
That’s something I learned a long time ago
I wish that couple would leave - no disrespect
Then again, I don’t really want them to go.

I’ve seen enough people leave
From my life and the world
I’ve seen enough people grieve
All their strife makes me old.

I remember the days of the great earthquake
- Everyone said it was the end
Even now the bones in my body still shake
But we still had plenty of time left to spend.

I rise and stare out over the horizon
- Past all of the mist in the trees
There’s nothing really to focus my eyes on
So I breathe and enjoy the soft breeze.

Maybe everything will turn out alright
- Maybe we’ll beat the stakes
Maybe I won’t have to go out and fight
and die like the lot in the quakes.

I look up as the clouds begin to part
and the light of the moon shines through
Coming up over the horizon, it gives me a start
and the shouts of the couple do too.

They stare at the moon from their quaint little seat
And from top of the hill so do I
Now we are certain that everything’s beat
- Covering the moon – blood-red dye!

For a moment I thought there was maybe some hope
of raising a family in this nation so old
But now I am seeing from a much bigger scope
It’s the end of our nation – and also the world!

The Birthday Skunk

If I were to have a skunk for a pet
I'd buy so much air-freshener I'd go into debt
I'd be friends with Febreeze, but not with the vet
If I were only to have a skunk for a pet

Just to look at his fur would remind me of Oreos
I'd take him on walks and I'd feed him Doritos
And whenever he'd get a craving for Cheerios
I'd take him to Taco Bell and buy him burritos

But all of those beans would I think be bad news
Still I'd let him have at them if that's what he'd choose
With his cute little eyes I could hardly refuse
Oh, and before I forget...happy birthday to you's.

A Hobbit’s Tale…

This is a story about a hobbit named Danik

And the girl hobbit he had for his love

So buckle your seatbelts, there’s no need to panic

For this is a tale from above.



Wee little Danik sat in the pub

Eating his curds and weigh

Along came another

Who would become his significant other

But all Danik did was neigh.



Neigh he did, for he thought he was a horse

See, he was not endowed with wisdom

Because I’m sure you’re aware of course

These things come by divine revelation.



As soon as he neighed there shone a great light

Overflowing from the bounds of the East

But as I’ve said before Danik was not so bright

And assumed he'd had too much to eat at the feast.



The light then descended upon the face of the other

Revealing this angelic being

Upon hearing the neighs, she thought, “Oh, brother…”

Scales kept his eyes from seeing.



“She’s not a horse,” thought the male of the pair

“He’s kind of weird,” thought the one who wasn’t a mare.



Then the Queen Mother arrived in all of her splendor

And relayed to them the mysteries of the Daffodil

She caused not much damage through all of her grandeur

And left quickly for her tea-date on the hill.



A couple of fortnights later or so

Danik was trotting through the forest

He was looking for gold at the end of the rainbow

His faculties were indeed at their poorest.



When all of a sudden he happened along

The girl hobbit he’d met before

They sat there together and sang a long song

Lasting clear through the end of chapter four.



Again this light from heaven appeared

Shining bright through the leaves of the trees

Danik was stroking his goat-like beard

His mind far from birds and bees.



The light shone so brightly that some of the scales

That were stuck in his eyes, oh, so painfully!

Fell by his bare feet upon the dirt trails

Which received them somewhat disdainfully.



A snake came along and said, “I’ve been looking for these.”

And picked them up with his lack of hands

Then he left, not appreciating heavenly lights shining through trees

Back to the Tree of Knowledge surrounded by hippie bands.



The light was dawning upon our dear friend so small

His eyes were opened and he saw he’d been wrong

This girl he’d met was no hobbit at all

She was really a leprechaun.



This made so much since after all

Since the rainbow he’d followed in the skies

Led him past the tree of the fall

To this leprechaun with beautiful eyes.



But unfortunately he still thought he was a horse

Because he was dumb

But he’d made a new friend, and that not by force

So cheers, let’s bring out the rum.



Much time passed before the Wizard appeared

Arriving precisely when he intended to

Actually…he was late because he’d lost his beard

As to where it was, he hadn’t a clue.



The Wizard was familiar with the Evan tongue

He knew many Evans who spoke it

He fueled his pot-belly stove with elephant dung

And he put it in his pipe to smoke it.



Which eventually led to his untimely death

In the year eleventy-six

Passing to the next world after his final gagging breath

Where he lived a jaded life studying English.



The day the Wizard appeared though I tell you

Our little hobbit friend crossed his path

The Wizard’s breath smelled of elephant poo

But I’ve already related to you the aftermath.



The grey unbearded man gave Danik a message

One he’d received from above

It was a little bit late because it’d gotten lost in the Ice Age

But it was still a message of love.



The hobbit listened to the words of the Wizard

Who revealed to him the way of wisdom

The truth that had almost been lost in a blizzard

But would spread from the Shire through the kingdom.



“The angelic leprechaun that you met at the pub,”

Said the Wizard to the hobbit. “She ain’t no phony.

If you were smart you would go have tea with her, bub.

But if you were smart…you wouldn’t think you’re a pony.”



“And if you were smart,” He continued, smugly.

“You’d know that wizardry would disqualify me from Spiritual Life.

See, this grey cloak I wear is really a snuggie.

…which I thought would get me a wife.”



“Best of luck to you, my dear little lad.

More luck than I’ve had I hope.”

“Maybe you should run for president,” Danik said.

“Nah,” said the non-wizard. “I’m no dope.”



Before long, the time of Passover came

And Danik, being a good Jewish hobbit

(A Russian Jew, actually, which explains his name)

When the sun went down, he said, “Stop it!”



“We must not work on this Sabbath,” he spoke.

“We must pray, and eat horseradish and honey.

And enjoy the roast lamb with all our kin-folk

Which I would have bought if I’d had any money.”



The angelic Leprechaun who was now Danik’s friend

Sat next to him that day at the synagogue

The sexes weren’t divided see, they allowed a blend

Because this was a messianic synod.



The heavenly light shone again

This time through the stained glass frame

Upon this beautiful leprechaun

But from now on things would not be the same.



The foundations of the buildings shook as the choir sang loud

The French horns blared out in defiance

The incense burned filling the room with a cloud

And then…there was utter silence.



And in this silence Danik heard the words

The sound of the still small voice

A voice quieter still than the bees and the birds

And it said, “Danik, I’m giving you a choice.”



“You can go back to the land of the shire

Where things are simpler and smaller, too

Or you can emerge from out of this mire

And marry the girl sitting next to you.”



“Oy vei,” thought Danik. “That was almost too clear.”

“Perhaps though I didn’t hear right.”

I must find out if my ears really can hear

And if my eyes really did see this light.



Later that evening in the misty moonlight

The hobbit and the leprechaun stood

The hobbit was thinking this was really quite right

Especially since this girl could make food.



Later that week Danik was studying his tenses

Trying to learn the sweet language of Evan

When suddenly there hopped over the fences

The leprechaun who was probably from heaven.



She was hopping with her friend to a place in the distance

A place where the children of men dwell

Danik thought to himself that he’d use this here instance

To see if she handled kids well.



Danik followed the angel through the woods and a field

‘till they arrived at a place called Elms Deep

Where the trees spoke so slowly and their branches did wield

‘till you were bored to tears and to sleep.



But the children of man did indeed there dwell

As Danik quickly discovered

And as he watched this sweet angel he surely could tell

She was quite good with kids, he uncovered.



And as the sun set, she and her friend

Sang a song that lasted till chapter nine

She looked up at Danik, and saw he was happy to spend

His time in this way. Oh! Did her eyes shine!



After travelling there and back again

Danik stopped in for a talk

With a friend that he had among men

But who was also of rather short stock.



“I think that I might like this girl,” said Danik

“Cool beans,” said his manly ranger chum.

“Don’t worry, buddy, there’s no need to panic.

Just keep in mind my advice tends to be dumb.



Like that time I told you to eat oats for your main course

‘cause I thought that’d be good for your equestrian genetics

Only to learn you weren’t really a horse

After you started trotting around with a case of the pathetics.”



“You mean,” Danik replied. “You don’t think I’m a horse?”

“No,” the man ranger said. “Only in your appetite.”

“Well, then, maybe I’m a hobbit…or a man! Of course!”

“No, dude. You’re a leprechaun…Yeah, that’s right.



You chase after rainbows looking for gold

You eat Lucky Charms by the vat

You kiss the blarney stone ‘till the day gets old.”

“Oh,” Danik said. “…I think I’m cool with that.”



So Danik with this new wisdom of his

Went back to learning the Evan tongue

And thought happy thoughts of joy and bliss

Until this day was over and done.



After continuing to think on the light from above

For a couple of fortnights or so

He began to believe that this girl he could love

This girl at the end of the rainbow.



He knew he must act if this dream would come true

He knew that he ought to do something

But he just wasn’t sure what exactly to do

So he wrote an anonymous sweet nothing.



And nothing it was, but indeed it was sweet

It was the first step towards the truth

It would be quite awhile before again they would meet

Yet still in the days of their youth.



What lay ahead for these two leprechauns?

What story lay hidden beyond the horizon?

A tale perhaps full of leisure and bonbons,

In a beautiful world with no dead spots on Verizon?



No, I’m afraid, this tale is not quaint

It involves far much more than pleasure

For in it we’ll discover how to become a saint

And to search for lasting treasure.



And we’ll learn the difference between Vulcans and Elves

And we’ll discover the true power of the ring

And we’ll find out a whole bunch about ourselves

And for several more chapters we’ll sing.

Industry

The skiff is tied up to the dock
A sailor’s knot keeps it from drifting
The boat gently bumps against the wood
The sea is calm inside the marina.

A man walks past the little boat
The planks creak beneath his feet
His back is away from his own float-plane
The plane is also tied up to the dock.

The man wears a dark knit-hat
The days are starting to get chilly
He looks up toward the high-land
The snow has returned to the tops of the mountains.

The man stops before ascending the ramp
He looks out across the water
The sea is calm between this island and the next
The sun is just beginning to set.

The days are becoming shorter
Winter will soon be here
For now the weather is calm
The storms will arrive within a week.

The man hears a float-plane overhead
He is used to the deafening sound
The plane turns and descends upon the water
It turns again and slowly approaches the marina.

He looks toward the rocky shore again
The wake from the float plane has reached the land
It gently splashes up against the mussels and barnacles
Then heads back out to sea again.

The man resumes his ascent up the ramp
Right up to the parking lot on the shore
He walks over to where his truck is parked
The gravel crunches under his boots.

He looks at the buildings before climbing into his truck
Lined up side by side along the main street
He glances up the steep hill all covered in spruce
The houses on top send up smoke from their chimneys.

He stares at the mountain beyond his small town
The sunset changes the snow into gold
He takes it all in and then lets out a sigh
He wishes that he were up there on the ski slopes.

He gets in his truck and pulls out of the lot
Before he goes home he stops over at Burger King
Then he remembers that they’ve gone out of business
They couldn’t compete with old Ronald McDonald.

The same thing will surely soon happen to this man
His business sits on prime property
He’ll have to relocate all of his float-planes
And get out of the way of a much bigger industry.

On the Occasion of the Birthday of my Father and Brother as Recounted by the Creed-Writers of the Early Church

Today are your birthdays
One day, yet two
The one has many days
The other has but few.

Two birthdays do we celebrate
But we celebrate one day
Two days do we recall of late
Yet celebrate once we may.

We celebrate one birthday in two
In unity two in one
One person is my father
The other is his son.

The persons we do not confound
Neither do we divide the essence
When we gather all around
As they eat cake and open presents.

Fried Chicken

Oh, fried chicken, when I first saw you I couldn't keep my eyes off of you.

Oh, fried chicken, when we first met I couldn't help but falling for you.

Oh, fried chicken, if you were to leave my heart would break like a piece of pottery.

Oh, fried chicken, you came into my heart – you came in and clogged every last artery.

The Rabbi and His Talmidim

A talmid grew disillusioned with his rabbi.
A talmid betrayed him because of money issues
A talmid thought money worth more than a person
The Rabbi told him just the opposite news.

The talmid thought an offering a waste
The talmid protested the pint of pure nard
The talmid sold God for some lifeless, cold silver
The Rabbi was arrested and imprisoned by the guards.

The talmid ran all the way back to the temple
“This talmid has sinned!” to the priests he cried
“So, Judas, what’s that to us?” they said
But Jesus was saddened by his friend’s suicide.

A talmid grew disillusioned with his rabbi.
The talmid - confused and pained at the sight
The talmid, in his frustration denied
his rabbi being led to his death in the night.

The talmid denied that he had ever known his rabbi
The talmid’s action should have spelled the end of his position
This talmid seems to have thought he was finished
The Rabbi had died - so he went back to fishing.

The talmid was baffled by his rabbi’s resurrection
“My talmid, you’ve stumbled, but you can still be like me.”
Peter would soon become more like his rabbi
Jesus still trusted him to go feed his sheep.