7-07: Capture the Flag

Scene 1: In the Parking Lot by Trickle Lake

(Jonathan, Girl, Tim)

JONATHAN

(narrating)

I had already seen this girl for who she was, and I knew I wanted nothing to do with her. She was Goat’s friend, not mine. But there she stood blocking my path. I was in between the church van and another vehicle. Everyone else had taken off toward the lake and I was left to close the sliding door. Not many people knew how to close the sliding door on the church van. You had to get it just right, or it wouldn’t close all the way. Being a pastor’s kid, I knew a thing or two about church vans and their quirks. So there I was, between those two vehicles, about ready to shut the door, when she walked up.

JONATHAN

(to himself)

Oh, great. All I need is someone like her to stick around.

JONATHAN

(Narrating)

I was by myself, and I didn’t want to be alone with a girl like her. Being alone with any girl was awkward enough… and this girl… well, I didn’t trust her at all. And besides, what might Jessica think if she saw? She was there after all. She just wasn’t in the parking lot. She had rushed off with all the others who had wanted to be on the lake front. But there wasn’t much time to think of that now. I needed to figure out a way to get myself out of this situation.

GIRL

Hey! What’s your name?

JONATHAN

(hesitating)

Jonathan…

JONATHAN

(narrating)

I didn’t really want her to know what my name was.

(beat)

She came up to me and stood there blocking my path waiting for something to happen. I was going to close the van door and leave, but I couldn’t do that with her standing there in the way. That was what she wanted.

(beat)

I knew I had to do something to get out of there, but I wasn’t sure what. Behind me was the only clear way out. But I would have had to turn my back on her if I were to make a run for it. Who knows what would’ve happened then.

(beat)

But wait! There was Tim! He was coming around the parked cars and would be there in a second. This was my chance! My flight depended upon his next move.

(beat)

As this girl was standing there, I suddenly indicated by my facial expressions that someone was coming up behind her. She turned slightly, but not enough. She had doubtless seen some other poor guy try and pull that trick after having been cornered by her. This time though, the trick had the truth to back it up.

Tim walks up.

TIM

Having trouble with the door again?

JONATHAN

(narrating)
She turned to see who it was, and I immediately began to step backwards in order to make my exit.

TIM
You have to close it just right, if you want it to work.

(beat)

Here, I’m used to this thing. I’ll get it.

Tim carefully slides the door shut.

TIM (CONT’D)

There we go.

JONATHAN

(narrating)
Meanwhile, I had casually walked around the truck we’d parked next to, and then made a quick retreat out of the parking lot and toward Trickle Lake.

Scene 2: By the Lakeshore

(Jonathan)

Jonathan walks quickly across a dirt path, but soon slows down to experience nature.

JONATHAN

(narrating)
The lake was beautiful. It was evening, but the sun was still a ways above the horizon. I looked out across the lake as I walked onto the sandy shoreline. The cedar trees were still standing tall on the other side, all the way up to the water’s edge. A group of ducks floated along the shore, in and out of the reeds. I could smell the aroma of skunk cabbage coming up out of the woods. It smelled like… skunk. The rest of the youth group had already made their way to the first of three open shelters on the beach and Kurt was walking back to his truck to get some fire wood.

(beat)

I looked beyond the shelter to the edge of the lake. Jessica was standing on the shore looking out across the water. I watched as she stood there all by herself. I wondered if I should go join her. I glanced behind me at her dad getting the wood from his truck, and then back at her again. She sat down on a small tuft of grass and watched the ducklings swim by behind their mother.

JONATHAN

(sighs to himself)

I wish we could be more than just friends.

JONATHAN

(narrating)

I knew that she liked me… and I liked her as well.

JONATHAN

(to himself)
But what can I say to her?

(beat)

I can never come up with anything natural to say when we’re together. It’s all so awkward and forced.

(beat)

I wish… I wish things could be different between us. I wish… I wish I could let her know how I feel about her.

(beat)

What is this fear that cripples me?
JONATHAN

(narrating)

I decided I would talk to her later, and continued on walking towards the rest of our group.

Scene 3: At the Shelter

(Jonathan, Goat, Sly-Goat, Slick-Goat, Turtle-Goat, Half-Goat, Kurt, Tim, Joe, Ashley)

JONATHAN

(narrating)

When I got to the shelter, Goat and four of his brothers were already there. Most of them were waiting for the hot dogs, chips, and marshmallows to be brought out, but not Goat. He wasn’t the type who liked to eat a lot. He would often go an entire day having eaten nothing but gummy bears. This was probably why he was so skinny. He was taller than me, but not as heavy. – And I wasn’t that heavy to begin with. I never had been… well… aside from when I was a baby and my pediatrician told my parents I looked like a sumo. Other than that brief period of time, I had always been a healthy weight. – Not that fat babies are very unhealthy. But the same wasn’t true of Goat. He got his energy from sugar instead of nutrients.

(beat)

He had considered making me a part of the brotherhood, but had never gotten around to it.

(beat)

Now he stood outside the shelter waiting for me.

GOAT

(excited to see Jonathan)
Dwarf! We’re gonna’ need you for capture the flag. It’s guys against girls and we need all the guys we can get. My bros here aren’t really the manly sort of type, so don’t fail me.

JONATHAN

(narrating)
I looked at Goat’s brothers. They were all pretty much taller than he was. As it turns out, one of them actually was Goat’s brother. They were half brothers, but they still had the same blood.

(beat)

I looked over this small group of young men as Goat talked with them. They all had longer dark hair like Goat, except for one blonde guy with a buzz-cut.

(beat)

One of the guys had brought his girlfriend with him. He seemed to be the most laid-back of the group, and was more interested in spending time with his girlfriend than anything else. He was also the most well-dressed of our group – that is to say he had on more than jeans and a t-shirt. Goat was wearing his windbreaker, but he wasn’t exactly the most striking stud there. Not that it mattered when Sarah was around. Goat was always top dog then. I’m not sure why… since Goat always called Sarah his little spider… er… spidey for short. Goat called her that because when he first met her he thought her hairdo looked like a spider’s web. I guess it never occurred to me to affectionately refer to my girlfriend as an arachnid.

(beat)

Oh, wait, that’s right. I’ve never had a girlfriend. And I’m too scared to talk to the girl who likes me. Not that she’s scary or anything. I’m mean, she’s great.  – Even though Goat’s nickname for her is Skull.

(beat)

I never did figure that one out…

GOAT

(interrupting Jonathan’s narration)

Dwarf? Are you paying attention?

JONATHAN

Huh? Oh, sorry. I sometimes get distracted by that narrator in my head.

GOAT

Ha! Dwarf, you’re a riot!

SLY-GOAT

Hey, where’d your girlfriend go, Goat?

JONATHAN

(narrating again)

This question was asked by one of the brothers who went by the name Sly-Goat.

GOAT

She’s right over there. She’s chilling with the other girls. But you stay away from her when I’m not around. I can read your minds. You’ll try to steal the Spider away from me when I’m not looking.

SLICK-GOAT

Don’t worry. I’ve already got a girlfriend.

GOAT

I didn’t mean you. I was talking to these other creeps.

(beat)

I don’t have to worry about Dwarf here though.

Goat walks up to Jonathan and puts his arm around him.

GOAT (CONT’D)

I can trust him.

TURTLE-GOAT

Dwarf? Ha! Nice name. I’m an elf.

HALF-GOAT

More like a Hobbit…

GOAT

(disgusted)

No. That ain’t how we do things. You guys are in the brotherhood. You can’t be talkin’ like this is the fellowship of the ring.

JONATHAN

(narrating)
Goat then turned to his half-brother and said…

GOAT

Your name is Half-Goat.

JONATHAN

(narrating)
To the slightly well-dressed guy he said…

GOAT

Your name is Slick-Goat.

JONATHAN

(narrating)
He looked over at the blonde guy and said…

GOAT

You’re Turtle-Goat.

HALF-GOAT

Wait! Why do I have to be Half-Goat? Why can’t you be Half-Goat? Just because I’m your half-brother, it doesn’t mean that you’re the whole brother.

GOAT

It’s already been established that I’m Goat. I can’t just change my name.

HALF-GOAT

Why not? Shouldn’t Slick-Goat be Goat before you are? He’s older than you.

GOAT

(moaning)

It doesn’t work that way. I explained this to you but you didn’t listen. I can’t give up my position as head-goat. The first Goat, the real one, gave me the title before he left. I have to fill his shoes until he comes back.

HALF-GOAT

When’s he coming back?

GOAT

I don’t know. He wasn’t sure when he left.

HALF-GOAT

I know when he’s coming back.

GOAT

When?

HALF-GOAT
Never.

SLICK-GOAT

(coolly)

Oh, he’ll be back.

(beat)

You just won’t know about it until after it happens.

HALF-GOAT

I don’t want to be around when he finds out you’ve been calling yourself by his name.

GOAT

He won’t mind. It’s part of the job.

SLY-GOAT

(knowingly)

Sure he won’t.

(to Half-Goat)

If I were you I’d stick with the name Half-Goat.

JONATHAN
What are you going to do when he does come back, Goat?

GOAT

(thoughtful)

I don’t know... I guess I’ll figure that out later.

TURTLE-GOAT

Wait, why do I have to be Turtle-Goat?

GOAT

Ha!

HALF-GOAT

Because you’re slow.

Kurt and Tim walk up carrying bundles.

KURT

Hey guys, do you want to help us carry the rest of this food and firewood?

JONATHAN

Sure.

TIM

Thanks, guys.

JONATHAN

(narrating)

As I took a bundle of firewood from Tim’s arms, I looked beyond him. I was worried that what’s-her-name had followed him back from the parking lot. But she hadn’t. She was distracted with the rest of our group who had just pulled up. The white Subaru Outback came to a stop, and the rest of the girls came pouring out. Ashley Hamilton led the group, though she let the other girls carry most of the food they had brought. Her philosophy of life seemed to be ‘why work hard when someone else can work for you?’ Personally, I think I prefer life philosophies that don’t end in question marks.

(beat)

Ashley’s dad, Joe, got out of the driver’s seat and walked over to the rest of us.

JOE

Hey guys, what’s up? You got that fire going yet?

KURT

Not yet. I’ve got the wood right here.

JOE

(laughs)

Well, I’ve got the marshmallows, so you’d better hurry up.

TIM

Hey, Joe.

JOE

Hey, Tim. It’s good to see…

ASHLEY

(interrupting)
Dad! Can I go with my friends to see Forbidden Matrix this weekend?

JOE

Uh... probably. What’s it rated again?

ASHLEY

R.

JOE

R?

ASHLEY

Yeah, for violence.

JOE

Oh, I see. I thought it might have been R for something else. We’ll have to see if we’ve got anything planned already.

JONATHAN

(narrating)
Kurt continued walking towards the shelter with his armload of firewood. The rest of us followed him.

KURT

Well, now that the rest of the girls are here, are you guys ready to play some capture the flag?

GOAT

Man, I’ve been ready like all day.

KURT

Okay, grab something to eat and we’ll get started.

Scene 4: Just Outside the Shelter

(Jonathan)

JONATHAN

(narrating)

After waiting about twenty minutes for the girls to stop eating, we finally lined up to play. During that time, I drank a couple of sodas, had a few hot dogs, and goofed around with Aaron, who also happened to be there. He was luckier than most. Not every kid gets to see the things a youth leader’s kid gets to see.

(beat)

I was telling him a little about strategy and what not. He was going to be a sort of kid-spy for our team, but his mom decided to take him home before the game started. Our plan would have worked, but I’d forgotten that nine year olds still have bedtimes. It wasn’t even dark yet! – Not that that means anything when you’re still in grade school.

(sighs)

Oh, well.

Scene 5: On the Beach

(Jonathan, Kurt, Goat)

JONATHAN

(narrating)

We lined up and Kurt blurted out the rules. Joe and Tim would be game supervisors and would be patrolling the woods, the beach and everything else. Goat was the guys’ captain, and what’s-her-name was the girls’ captain.

KURT

(shouting)
Listen up, everyone! The guys’ boundaries include the three shelters, the entire beach, the parking lot, and the woods just off of the beach. The girls’ boundaries begin at the log we laid across the trail about a hundred feet from the beach here. It stretches all the way to the wooden bridge across the lake over there.

GOAT

(whispering to the guys)
Hey, I’ve got the perfect place to hide the flag. They’ll never suspect it to be there. We’ll stick it in the tree right next to the shelter.

(beat)
Slick-Goat, you stay here and guard the jail. Turtle, Sly, and Half-Goat, you guys go down the main trail and try to figure out where they’ve got their flag. Dwarf and I will go through the woods after you three have distracted the girls.

KURT

(shouting)
Is everyone ready? Let the games begin!

Scene 6: Near the Shelter

(Jonathan, Goat, Slick-Goat, Half-Goat)

JONATHAN

(narrating)

The two teams quickly separated from each other as the girls ran off towards their territory.

GOAT

Okay, guys. The flag’s going in this tree over here. Whatever you do, do not let the girls know where our flag is hidden.

JONATHAN

(narrating)
Goat climbed up to the first branch and carefully placed the flag out of sight. We then waited a few minutes for Tim to give us the signal that the girls had hidden their own flag. As soon as Goat saw the signal, he sent Turtle, Sly, and Half-Goat down the main trail – straight into enemy territory. They would serve as distractions while Goat and I sneaked through the woods.

SLICK-GOAT

Well, I guess I’ll just stay here and guard an empty jail then. How long are you going to wait for them?

GOAT

Only five minutes. After that, Dwarf and I will sneak up behind them.

SLICK-GOAT

Five minutes?

(beat)

Hmm… Only a minute and a half left to go.

GOAT

You know, I was thinking that maybe we should try and… wait… what’s that?

JONATHAN

(narrating)
We turned to see what he was looking at. The sight we saw was Half-Goat running for his life down the main trail. He was alone. He crossed the boundary and ran along the shore up to where we were standing.

GOAT

(calling out)

What are you doing! Why’d you come back? Get back over there!

Half-Goat runs up to them panting and stops.

HALF-GOAT

(out of breath and panicked)
It was an ambush! – They came out of the woods and jumped us from behind!

SLICK-GOAT

What happened to the others?

HALF-GOAT

They’re in jail.

GOAT

(perturbed)
What! How could they possibly end up in jail? It’s only been five minutes!

HALF-GOAT

It was an ambush, I tell you! I was the only one who escaped.

JONATHAN

(narrating)
Goat was obviously irritated by this turn of events, but he kept his wits about him.

GOAT

Dwarf? You still awake?

JONATHAN

Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry. It’s the inner-narrator again.

GOAT

Stay with us, man. Okay. We can still win this thing. Half-Goat, you go back down the main path again. Dwarf, you go up through the woods and see if you can find their flag. I’ll sneak around through the tall grass by the water and see if I can break our guys out of jail. Let’s go!

JONATHAN

(narrating)
The three of us all ran off in different directions, while Slick-Goat stayed behind to guard our empty jail.

Scene 7: In the Woods

(Jonathan, Girl)

JONATHAN

(narrating)

I ran up behind the other shelters on the beach, and began my ascent into the woods. It was all uphill, but I had been up there before so I knew my around. Part way through my climb I looked down through the trees to see where the boundary line was. I could see Half-Goat walking down the main-path below me. He was about to cross over into the girls’ territory. So was I. - Just from a different location. Just then, I heard noises coming from the trail. I looked down again and saw a group of girls jump out of hiding and run towards Half-Goat. He quickly turned around and ran back to the boundary log that was lying across the trail. He looked back and stared at the girls, wondering what to do next. He couldn’t go any farther down the main-trail. The girls stood at the boundary marker, waiting for him to cross.

(beat)

Suddenly, I heard the noise of someone running to my right. I turned and saw one of the girls jump out from behind a tree and run towards me. I bolted and took off deeper into the woods.

GIRL

(calling back)

There’s another one up here! Keep a look out!

JONATHAN

(narrating)
She was a fast runner, but I was better at creating new paths through the woods. I made it back across the boundary. I was safe, but there was no way I’d be able to sneak over through the woods. Two of our three planned routes were now blocked. I headed back to our jail to see if Goat had had better luck than we had. As it turns out, he had.

Scene 8: Back on the Beach

(Jonathan, Ashley, Slick-Goat, Girl)

JONATHAN

(narrating)

As I treaded across the beach, I could see that we had finally caught our first prisoner. It was Ashley, or “Jellyroll” as Goat called her, but I won’t bother to explain that now. Slick-Goat stood outside the jail guarding her.

Jonathan walks casually walks up to the jail.

JONATHAN

Hey, looks like we’ve got ourselves a prisoner. What happened, Ashley?

ASHLEY

Goat caught me sneaking across the line.

(yells towards the girls) Look out, girls! He’s coming around the other side!

JONATHAN

Ashley, you’re too far away. They can’t understand what you’re saying.

ASHLEY

We’ll see about that.

(yelling again)

Jessica! He’s on your right! Look out for…

(suddenly starts coughing)

JONATHAN

Be careful. You’ll make yourself hoarse.

ASHLEY

I’m already hoarse from this cold.

(to herself)

Where’d I put those cough drops?

(beat)

Here they are.

She pulls a cough drop out of her pocket and begins un-wrapping it.

SLICK-GOAT

Hey, man, I’m getting tired of guarding this jail. Could you watch her for awhile? I’m gonna see if I can sneak over to their side through the woods.

JONATHAN

Sure. The woods are guarded though. I just came from there.

SLICK-GOAT

It doesn’t matter. My girlfriend’s up there. She’ll let me cross. See ya.

Slick-Goat walks away.

ASHLEY

Hey Jonathan, do you want a cough drop?

JONATHAN

You’re the one with the cough. I’m not sure why I would need one.

ASHLEY

Maybe if you thought you might be about to have a cough.

JONATHAN

I think I’m good. What kind of cough drops are those, anyway?

ASHLEY

Let me see. I’ve got some in here.

She pulls one out of her pocket.

ASHLEY

Let’s see here.

(reading)

Thistleberry Candy Company… yellow drop delights… Wait a minute. I’m not sure this is a cough drop.

JONATHAN

Yeah… I’m pretty sure that’s a piece of candy.

Jonathan and Ashley both start laughing.

ASHLEY

I’m gonna be mad if I’ve been eating candy instead of cough drops this whole time. No wonder my cough won’t go away.

JONATHAN

(joking)

Why were you offering me a cough drop, anyway? Were you trying pass whatever it is you’ve caught on to me?

ASHLEY

(joking)
Yeah. That’s what I was trying to do. – Not that it would be all that bad if you did catch whatever I have. I don’t think it’s deadly.

JONATHAN

It’s probably Strep Throat.

ASHLEY

I bet it’s SARS.

JONATHAN

(narrating)
Our joking was interrupted by Half-Goat. He was returning with another prisoner. To my irritation, it was what’s-her-name. He left her with the other prisoner, and then returned to the game. Ashley and I carried on with our conversation. What’s-her-name walked up into my personal space and stared me straight in the face.

GIRL

Looks like I’ll be spending some more time with you, Jonny-boy.

JONATHAN

(narrating)

She thought this would intimidate me, but rather than act nervous, I kept on wisecracking with Ashley. When what’s-her-name saw that I took little notice of her invasiveness, she gave up on that plan. She turned and walked out of the jail, hoping that I would follow her… but I didn’t. I didn’t care if she escaped. When she saw that I wasn’t going to follow her, she began searching around the shelter for our flag. I let her wander around freely, but I still kept my eye on her. She walked over to the tree where our flag was hidden, looked up, and saw it hanging there. She looked over at me to see if I was watching her. I pretended to be preoccupied with something else. She slowly walked back to where we were, but I knew that she had found the flag. If I didn’t do something soon, it would only be a matter of time before all the other girls found out where our flag was hidden.

Scene 9: Still on the Beach

(Jonathan, Tim)

JONATHAN

(narrating)

What’s-her-name began to slowly edge her way farther and farther from the jail. I looked off towards the girls’ territory. It had been a long time since I had seen anyone from my team. Where were they? Had they all been captured? Was I the only one left? Was the jailer the only one left to save the day? I thought about what I could do. If I were the only one left, then it didn’t matter if I was guarding the prisoners. I quickly made up a last resort plan. I would run full speed into enemy territory. – One last charge. I knew I could probably outrun any of the girls if they saw me cross the line. If they chased me, I could run up into the woods and out-navigate them. There were just so many of them though! All would be lost if I let them surround me. Whatever happened, I would have to be fast. - I knew that.

(beat)

So there I was, about to abandon my prisoners and charge into enemy territory single-handed, when Joe and Tim appeared at the boundary log. They had been supervising the game from the woods, and were now posing as middle-men between the two teams.

TIM

(calling out)

Since the boys have the girls’ captain as prisoner… and the girls have… well… everybody else… a prisoner exchange has been proposed! We are here to escort each of the respective prisoners back to their own territories!

JONATHAN

(narrating)

The prisoners on both sides quickly agreed to the terms of this arrangement.

Scene 10: By the Shelter

(Jonathan, Goat, Sly-Goat, Half-Goat)

JONATHAN

(narrating)

After the prisoners had walked back to their own sides, Goat popped up out of the tall grass down by water and ran over to where the rest of our team was standing.

Goat runs up.

GOAT

(frustrated)

Why’d you call for a prisoner exchange, guys? I was just about to bust you all out of jail. I was right there!

SLY-GOAT

Wait a minute. Where’s Slick-Goat? Why isn’t he guarding the jail?

JONATHAN

He asked me to fill in for him. He must still be sneaking around over on the girls’ side.

HALF-GOAT

Meh… He’s probably hanging out with his girlfriend somewhere.

JONATHAN

Goat, there’s something worse than us losing all our prisoners. One of them was the captain of the girls’ team, and she figured out where we’ve got our flag hidden.

GOAT

Are you serious?

JONATHAN

Yes. She found our flag.

GOAT

I’ve got it. I’ll just move the flag one tree over from where it’s at now.

JONATHAN

I don’t think that’s a good idea.

GOAT

No, no, it’s perfect. They’ll never expect it to be in the other tree.

JONATHAN

(narrating)
Goat ran over to the tree where our flag was hidden, and quickly moved the flag over to the tree next to it. The rest of the brothers were arguing about what went wrong the first time they tried crossing into the girls’ territory. Goat returned from his task and joined the argument.

GOAT

Come on, guys, you messed up the first time, but we can still get this down the second time around. Listen, we’ll try our original plan again. You guys create a distraction on the main-path while Dwarf and I sneak around through the woods.

JONATHAN

(narrating)

Suddenly, Goat was interrupted by the panicked voice of his half-brother.

HALF-GOAT

(panicked)

They’ve got the flag!

JONATHAN

(narrating)
We turned, and to our horror, we saw Sarah and two other girls running through the parking lot with our flag!

Scene 11: Near the Woods

(Jonathan, Goat, Half-Goat)

JONATHAN

(narrating)

The girls had sneaked around while we were arguing, found the flag, and now were headed for the woods. All of us ran after them when we saw this. Goat headed for the parking lot, Half-Goat headed for the woods, and I headed for the boundary. If the girls got away from Goat, they would still have to go through Half-Goat and me.

(beat)

Thankfully, the girls didn’t get away from Goat. He was able to get the flag back from his girlfriend… er… the Spider.

(beat)

When we saw that the flag was secure, we all headed back to the jail. Goat brought back his girlfriend as a prisoner. The rest of us waited for Goat to give us our orders.

GOAT

It’s the same plan as last time. You three walk down the main-path and create a distraction. Dwarf and I will wait here for five minutes and then sneak through the woods.

JONATHAN

(narrating)

Sly-Goat, Half-Goat and Turtle-Goat ran off down the path while Goat and I waited. Goat found another place to hide the flag, while I guarded Sarah.

(beat)

After a couple of minutes Goat and I looked up to see a familiar figure running down the trail. Goat’s jaw dropped.

GOAT

You gotta be kidding me.

JONATHAN

(narrating)

It was Half-Goat. He appeared to be running for his life, and was once again alone.

Half-Goat runs up.

HALF-GOAT

(out of breath and panicked)

It was an ambush! They came out of the trees and ambushed us!

JONATHAN

(amazed)
You got ambushed again?

GOAT

(moaning)

I can’t believe this!

HALF-GOAT

(panting)

I barely escaped.

GOAT

(lamenting)
No! This is pathetic. You guys are killin’ me.

JONATHAN

That’s it. I’m going over there myself.

Scene 12: On the Trail

(Jonathan, Ashley, Jessica)

JONATHAN

(narrating)
I ran off towards the boundary log, leaving Goat and his brother to figure out which one of them would guard the jail. I ran across the beach and the main-path, and the boundary log quickly came into view. Standing directly on the other side, was a group of about five girls. Ashley and Jessica were among them.

JONATHAN

(to himself)
Oh, good. I’ll get to hang out with them for a little while.

JONATHAN

(narrating)

I walked up to the boundary log, and stood there waiting to see what they would do next.

ASHLEY

Hi, Jonathan. You’ve showed up just in time to hear Jessica tell her story.

JONATHAN

What’s the story about?

JONATHAN

(narrating)

I asked as I began looking around for another way to cross the border.

JESSICA

It’s about the King and Queen of England. They lived in the clouds, and had green hair and purple clothes.

JONATHAN

Green hair? Heh… must be St. Patrick’s Day in the British Isles.

ASHLEY

That would be the Great British Isles, actually.

JESSICA

No, it’s the Isles of Great Britain… er, no wait.

(beat)

The Great Green Isles of Britain?

ASHLEY

No, I think that has something to do with the green witch.

JONATHAN

Uh… it’s pronounced Greenwich.

Pronounced as “Grin-nitch.”

JONATHAN (CONT’D)

And the proper title would be The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

ASHLEY

What about southern Ireland?

JONATHAN

Never mind.

JONATHAN

(narrating)
I was standing on one side of the boundary while the group of girls stood on the other side, waiting for me to cross. I was trying to play it cool, and act like I wasn’t really interested in crossing the boundary, but they weren’t buying it. After awhile, they started to meander away from the log. They were afraid that Goat would sneak around them while I had them distracted. When I saw that they were starting to spread out to look for Goat, I decided it was time to step over the log. I had stepped over and had gotten about five paces past it when they noticed that I was on their territory. All of them rushed towards me, and I quickly hopped back over the log.

(beat)

There was no getting across here. There were too many people. I moved the log about a foot over onto their side with my foot. They in turn rolled the log about five feet onto our side. I could see I was getting nowhere, so I decided to wander off up into the woods and see if they would follow me. They didn’t… but Joe did. He was still supervising the game from behind the trees, and he started following me everywhere I went. Everywhere I turned, he was there. Every move I would make, he would make the same move. He was probably afraid that I was going to get myself lost in the woods, but there was no need to fear that. I knew my way around.

Scene 13: In the Woods

(Jonathan)

JONATHAN

(narrating)

I pushed my way through the bushes, and climbed over fallen trees as I made my way up the hill. Joe was still behind me. I wished that he would stop following me. I was trying to sneak across the border, and I wasn’t succeeding very well with a great big man following me around. I decided that I would head back towards the boundary log. My plan wasn’t working. On my way back down, I noticed one of the girls on the trail below me. She was standing on the wrong side of the log!

JONATHAN

(calling out)
Hey! Where do you think you’re going?

JONATHAN

(narrating)

She turned and started running towards the direction of our flag. I quickly ran through the mass of trees in pursuit. I looked at where she was going, rather than where she was at. I jumped out of the woods and onto the trail and started gaining on her as she ran towards the beach. When she got to the beach, she ran behind one of the shelters. I had caught up with her by now, and I reached out my arm and tagged her on the shoulder. I stopped running, and waited for her to stop as well, but she didn’t. Instead, she kept on running, but then tripped and fell to the ground. I walked over to her to see if she was okay. She got up off the ground, and ran off in the direction of the parking lot. She was sobbing the whole way.

JONATHAN

(to himself)
Uh-oh. This looks bad.

Scene 14: Back on the Trail

(Jonathan, Ashley, Jessica, Joe, Kurt)

JONATHAN

(narrating)
I started to wander back towards the main-path. Some of the girls were still over by the log.

ASHLEY

Did you catch her?

JONATHAN

(confused)

Sort of.  – She started crying so I stopped chasing her.

JESSICA

She wasn’t playing.

ASHLEY

She came over here to talk to us. She didn’t want to play, but she got so bored by herself that she decided to come over here.

JONATHAN

Oh. Oops.

JONATHAN

(narrating)

Feeling awkward once again, I turned around and started walking back towards the shelters, the direction in which the girl had run off. Joe met up with me on the way.

JOE

Did you chase her?

JONATHAN

Huh? Uh… yeah, I chased her. I thought she was after our flag.

JOE

Did you push her down?

JONATHAN

No.

JOE

She says you pushed her down.

JONATHAN

I didn’t. I tagged her, but I didn’t push her. She tripped and fell, but I didn’t push her.

JOE

Okay. Just making sure.

JONATHAN

(narrating)

Joe walked back towards the parking lot where the parents were starting to pull in to pick up their kids. I followed him, but on the way we bumped into Kurt. He had just come back from talking to the girl’s mother. I looked over into the parking lot and saw the girl sitting in a car pouting.

KURT

Don’t worry about it, Jonathan.  I saw what happened. I was just talking to her mom, and she said not to worry about it. She said her daughter sometimes gets a little over emotional at times.

JOE

Well, it is junior high after all…

JONATHAN

(confused)

Uh… okay.

KURT

Well, it looks like the parents are starting to show up. I think we’d better put an end to this game and call it a tie.

JOE

All right. I’ll go tell the guys. Jonathan, you can go tell the girls that it’s a tie.

JONATHAN

Okay.

JONATHAN

(narrating)

With that, I turned and ran off towards the girls’ territory.

Scene 15: On the Trail Again

(Jonathan, Ashley, Jessica, Slick-Goat.)

JONATHAN

(narrating)

I ran down the beach, past all the shelters made of logs and stone. I ran past the water pump, and crossed the little wooden bridge over the creek that marked the beginning of the main-path around the lake. I ran up the boundary log lying across the trail and jumped over it. The girls standing there were surprised and didn’t know what to do.

ASHLEY

What? What do we do? Where did…

Jonathan continues running.

JONATHAN

(calling back over his shoulder)

The game is over!

JESSICA

Oh.

JONATHAN

(narrating)

Once they heard that, they decided not to chase me.

JONATHAN

(to himself)
That was easy, I thought. I could have done this earlier and they never would have caught me.

JONATHAN

(narrating)
I ran down the trail, past the picnic table where Goat’s brothers were still being held as prisoners.

JONATHAN

(shouting)
The game’s over!

JONATHAN

(narrating)

…I shouted to them as I ran past. They were happy to hear it, since they had spent most of the game in jail.

(beat)

I kept on running down the trail, and came across another girl. She was standing between two trees covered in moss. I looked closer, and noticed that there was a guy who was with her. He was partially hidden by a blueberry bush and a rotting log. I realized that this guy was Slick-Goat, and that the girl standing between the trees was his girlfriend. They had been hanging out in the woods during most of the game.

JONATHAN

The game’s over…

JONATHAN

(narrating)

I told them.

(beat)

Not that you were playing though, I thought.

SLICK-GOAT

Thanks, man.

JONATHAN

(narrating)

I kept on running and came up to the bridge that could be seen from the parking lot on the other side of the lake. What’s-her-name was standing there, guarding their flag. Another girl was standing nearby. What’s-her-name wasn’t expecting one of us guys to show up just then. None of us had ever made it this far down the trail. She jumped to attention when I came around the corner. She wasn’t going to let me anywhere near their flag.

JONATHAN

(shouting)

The game’s over!

JONATHAN

(narrating)

…I shouted, and kept on running down the trail. After I crossed the bridge, I followed the trail for several more yards.

(beat)

I didn’t see any more people. I then realized that the bridge I had just crossed was the back boundary of the girls’ territory. I had run all the way through their territory without being touched! This was amazing! – Then again, the game was over.

Scene 16: The Parking Lot

(Jonathan, Tim, Goat)

JONATHAN

(narrating)

I turned around and walked all the way back to the parking lot. When I arrived, everyone was getting into their parents’ vehicles to go home. The youth leaders were still around, and Tim was getting ready to climb into the church van and take the rest of us home.

TIM

You’ve got to close the door just right. Otherwise it won’t shut all the way.

Jonathan walks up to Goat.

GOAT

That was so embarrassing. How many times are they gonna let themselves get ambushed?

JONATHAN

(narrating)

Goat was still lamenting over his brothers’ carelessness.

Jonathan starts laughing.

JONATHAN

(laughing)

It was pretty funny though.

GOAT

Oh, well. Considering only two of us were really playing, I think we actually did a pretty good job.

JONATHAN

Yeah… we didn’t win… but we didn’t lose either. That counts for something… uh, I guess.

JONATHAN

(narrating)

In spite of everything, Goat and I had still done a pretty good job.

(sighs)

But the sun had set, and time had just run out. My hour of glory would have to come another day.

(beat)

And maybe on that day I would be able to continue that story with Jessica about the king and queen of England who lived in the clouds and had green hair and purple clothes, and maybe… just maybe… be able to sit back and relax, without all the awkwardness, and know that we could have all the time in the world to talk to our hearts’ content. Until then, all I can do now is watch the sun set and hope and wait for that perfect moment.

GOAT

Dwarf, are you still listening to that narration guy in your head telling you your life story?

JONATHAN

Sorry. It’s a thing.

GOAT

Man, you got to tell that dude to take a hike.