Disaster

The glowing star has fallen from the sky
Blazing brightly, a burning rock of fire
The people of the earth let out a cry
A shout that pierces through the atmosphere.

It splits apart and then hits the surface
Colliding with the land and water both
People of earth – all panicked and nervous
All of them are outside of Noah’s boat.

The ground caves in and the waters spew out
The fountains of the deep have been released
The people of the earth let out a shout
then drown from the disaster in the East.

Only the seven plus Noah so old
Open their eyes to see a brand new world.

Attaining Wisdom

Here is some advice
It will keep you wise
And happy in this year
The wisdom starts here:

Make sure you poop once a day
For it’s a bad thing to delay
If you have to go today,
Why wait ‘til Saturday?

Be sure to eat lots of meat
Because meat is very neat
And it contains a lot of protein
To keep your muscles always bloating

And stay far away from cats
Because cats are always brats
And they make you sneeze
Because of your allergies

Vegetables you must avoid
Not because you’re paranoid
But because they are bad
Very very very bad

Now you are wise
At least in my eyes
So happy birthday to you
My brother of decades, two

The Sanctified Snowman

There once was a snowman named Fred
He wore a top hat on his head
He looked on sunny days with dread
They reminded him someday he’d be dead.

He showed up to church every Sunday at ten
And sat smiling in his pew until it would begin
He sang hallelujah and shouted amen
The preacher preached freedom from Satan and sin.

Afterwards everyone sat down to eat
Potlucks after church are always a treat
They ate there for hours, it was really quite neat
Until someone decided to turn up the heat.

Our snowman friend Fred was now in deep trouble
For while eating his meal he turned into a puddle.

The thermostat had been turned up to a whopping ninety-seven
But Fred didn’t care much because he was in heaven.